Great First Dates and Horror Stories – CONTEST WINNER
The Dad’s House I ROCKED THE HOUSE: First Date Tips and Horror Stories Contest has come to a close. Eighteen self-selecting bloggers submitted entries for a chance to win the $25 Amazon eCard First Prize and $20 eCard Second Prize.
There can only be one true champ (scroll to the bottom for that result). But in my book, everyone’s a winner:
First Date Horror Stories
• Best Fuzzy Picture Sent Through Craigslist: Kat Wilder’s date at a bakery cum coffeehouse
• Best Use of a Drunk Psycho Dude: Mapi Princesa and her date from hell in Ecuador
• Best Beer Goggle Pickup: DC Nicole is saved by a beer at the cinema
• Best Angry Texting: Lisaq of 40s Singleness and her Most Bizarre Date Yet, a dinner date with a horny guy who clearly has anger texting management issues
• Best Erectile Dysfunction Product Placement: QTMama and her dinner date companion with a Cialis burning a hole in his pocket
• Best Check Splitting: One Date Wonder and her date who tallies every last cent of the dinner check
• Best Wet Dream (It’s a Metaphor, People): What Men Think and a drunk doe-eyed girl in white pants and black thong. What’s not to like about that?
• Best Blood Effects: Uncabled Heart and a Starbucks blind date with a bleeding nose
• Best Lactating Breasts: SingleMomSeeking on her first date as a nursing mom
First Date Tips
• Best Limo Ride From the Airport: Backpacking Dad’s creative suggestion to take a limousine from SFO to Golden Gate park
• Best Advice Involving a Goldfish: Happy Healthy Hip Parenting with tips for a First Date: How to Avoid Having it Be Your Last
• Best Pop Cultural Reference to Survivor: Diane from The Women’s Dish laments the modern fad of daredevil dates
• Best Embrace of Humidity: The Exception offers some great first date ideas, from outdoor concerts to wandering the wine country
• Best Wildebeest Impersonation: Lance from Honey & Lance on a first date video store pickup with an explosive climax
• Best Use of Blindfolds: Cathouse Teri’s sensual fantasy about getting to know someone inside-out. Sex first, questions later
Great First Dates
• Best Masturbation Lead-In: Honey from Honey & Lance on a first date so perfect, it turned into her current relationship
• Best Bearded Biker: Ms. Single Mama falls for a bearded biker and his Harley
• Best Use of Cleavage: Evil Woobie on cleavage and a twenty-sided dice
And the Winners are…
Honorable Mention – Mapi Princesa. Her date from hell in Ecuador was a true nail-biter, worth calling out for mention.
Second Place, and a $20 eCard goes to – What Men Think! And his First Date Horror Story.
Like I said in the contest description, humor is a good thing. I found this post Laugh My Ass Off funny. From the doe-eyed girl wearing white pants and a black thong, to the Halloween motif with a sailor suit that might have been a school-girl costume (does it matter?), What Men Think gave us details that just can’t be made up. And between a passed out girl in his car and his gentlemanly instincts, there were enough plot twists to keep me riveted.
Congratulations, What Men Think!
First Place, and a $25 eCard goes to – Honey! And her Perfect First Date.
This had a lot going for it – sexy preparation tips for a woman (shower, shave, blow dry hair, masturbate), great advice for meeting (someplace with beer, within walking distance of home – so you don’t need a ride, but if you want the other kind of ride, you can get one), clothes ripping, fingernail scratching, ravenous sex (multiple times). Her entry was part story, part advice column, with a perfect blend of straight talk, humor, and sex.
Best of all, it’s a true story – they’re still together!
In Honey’s words, a first date is a delicious combination of strategic planning, thinking on your feet, witty conversation, and natural sexuality. Making rules and not being afraid to throw them out the window. Taking something that was born to be a cliché and making it your own.
Congratulations, Honey!
Thanks to everyone who participated. There were definitely some great posts. Be sure to check them all out!
- Taking Third-Date Sex to a New Extreme
- What Does a Divorced Single Parent Know About Successful Relationships?
- Sexy Flirty Dirty Text Messages
- Relationship Dating 101: First Meeting
- Blind Date – Ugh
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Comment by whatmenthink
| June 10th, 2008
Sweet!!! Thank you!
Comment by mapiprincesa
| June 10th, 2008
‘Tis indeed an honor being, um, honored!
These were great reads. Thanks for the motivation for bringing out the best in so many of your readers!
Be well, Daddy-o.
Comment by katherine.
| June 10th, 2008
after reading a few of these…I realize I have been rather fortunate with first dates…
great idea for your readers.
Comment by QTMama
| June 10th, 2008
Congrats to you guys!
Comment by Single Mom Seeking
| June 10th, 2008
Your categories are hilarious! Congrats to the winners!
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| June 10th, 2008
Definitely very worthy winners!
And Dads, you did a good job of summing it all up and presenting your mentions. Clearly, you do know how to run a contest!
Comment by Honey
| June 10th, 2008
Woot! I am so excited. Thanks, DM! It comes as a great surprise after a LESS-perfect weekend date of taking care of the BF and his kidney stone…but that’s love, I guess. :-)
Comment by Kai
| June 10th, 2008
Hilarious contest!! It’s a rough, rough dating world out there.
Comment by Single_M0M
| June 10th, 2008
Congratulations to everyone and WOW to you, David, for coming up with a “winning theme” for each entry.
p.s. Do I still get to use the cool icon that was created for this contest? I definitely “rocked the house” (or car, or hotel room) on many dates although I chose to keep those juicy stories for my first novel!
Comment by DC Nicole
| June 10th, 2008
Thanks for the time and bloglove !!!
I will be back… with advice comments and others :)
my husband said you need it if you were going to go hiking on a first date… his advice- ’spend money on her’ :)
Comment by rubygrace
| June 10th, 2008
congrats honey!
thanks dad for adjusting the link for me,,, i’m currently having hosting transfer problems. THANKS
Comment by DC Nicole
| June 10th, 2008
ps- I’m not quite sure what that says about me…
but we’re coming up on 11 years so… who cares :)
Comment by Single_M0M
| June 10th, 2008
I just went over to read Honey’s entry and was surprised that I had forgotten about my first date after my husband and I separated a few years back.
My girlfriends dragged me to a nightclub where I was determined to have a miserable time. I went to the bar to get another drink while they were on the dance floor. A sexy young man walked past and we made eye contact. I looked away, only to find him next to me at the bar seconds later. He introduced himself and quickly disappeared when I turned to pay for my drink.
I pushed my way through the crowd to find him and when I did, I gave him my business card and told him to get a hold of me if he was interested in getting together some time.
After I joined my friends again I told them what happened and they cursed me for giving him my work phone number and email address.
For some reason (LOL), I found myself heading into the office that next day (Saturday) and lo and behold, there was an email from him. We sent emails back and forth for a while that afternoon before I finally gave him my number.
Then I RUSHED home, cleaned my house (just in case) and he called while I was in the middle of scrubbing the toilets and looking pretty grubby.
He was so casual (and sounded so sexy) that I nearly melted. He simply asked what we were going to do that night and I panicked. I told him I’d call him back and I frantically tried to find a nice place to meet him at. The little I knew about him was that he was Bulgarian, so I chose a quaint little Greek restaurant that serves home-style Greek cuisine and is known for its romantic, yet casual setting.
We met there (I got there early and ordered a glass of wine) and he looked even more sexy than I remembered. Our conversation just flowed during dinner and I could tell that there was chemistry between us (even if it was mostly physical). I was a bit concerned that he only drank water though. Was he an alcoholic? Did he not drink at all?
When I suggested that he order a glass of wine, he told me that he doesn’t drink when he’s driving which won him major brownie points with me.
Halfway between dinner and dessert, he grabbed my hand and rubbed my arm, telling me how soft my skin was. “You really take care of yourself, don’t you?” I nearly came right then and there! Thank god I shaved and lubed up with softly-scented lotion!
After dinner, we walked out to the parking lot together and he grabbed my hand. It felt so natural. We hopped in his car and drove to the cove to walk by the ocean. We held hands and flirted and out of the blue he asked me if I had ever had sex on the beach. I answered honestly: “NO,” and he didn’t say a thing.
After a brief second of silence, I said, “That doesn’t mean I’d say no if you asked.” He laughed and he pulled me close to him. He smelled fantastic and was very warm. He held me tight while kissing me very gently. I felt like a teenager as we made out, ignoring the people that walked past us.
We walked back to his car and he asked if we could go back to my place to have a few drinks. I smiled – knowing where this would lead – and said, “I thought you don’t drive when you’ve been drinking.”
“I don’t,” he said, so I responded, “Let’s go,” and we managed to enjoy one drink before making out on the couch and slowly undressing one another. Once we got down to our underwear, he picked me up and carried me to my bedroom and we had the hottest sex which ended up with both of us covered in sweat and smelling of sex.
I still have his number for booty call purposes only, but I have no regrets about that first date. It was a warm welcome to the single life and I’ve been enjoying it (and continue to enjoy great sex) ever since.
Oh, and he insisted upon using a condom each time (BONUS POINTS!).
Thanks, Honey – and Dad’s House – for the reminder of that hot and steamy night. I should give him a call…
Comment by Diane K. Danielson
| June 10th, 2008
Thanks for the “pop culture” honors! That’s my “schtick” and thrilled for the mention!
Comment by Deb
| June 10th, 2008
Great contest Dads but we all know you picked Honey’s entry as the winner specifically because it reads like an entry in Penthouse Forum Letters. I guess I don’t have to tell you what this says about your latent sexual impulses, eh? LoL
Comment by dadshouse
| June 10th, 2008
Penhouse Forum letters… ah, the high school memories…
Single_MOM – thanks for reminding us single parents what a great date hookup is like
DC Nicole – congrats on 11 years! As for women and money, I live in Silicon Valley where a man is judged on the size of his stock option portfolio (if not his private jet), so tell your husband I already know.
Everyone else – glad you had fun. I loved the diversity of the posts! Great reads, all.